I'm at the point in my life where I need to live with no regrets. I am trying to say yes to everything, simply to see what life has in store for me. To say that I've managed to live this way in my professional life, that point is clear. I left the United States in 2009 to move to Italy, with the security of knowing that I had a job back in Oakland if I decided to go back after a year. I gave up that job to follow this path of what felt right....living abroad, which lead to two more years in Italy and now at least two years here in China. I'm living without a certain way to get a job back in the United States, without knowledge or in possession of a true path. When I was working in Oakland, that job could have been the rest of my life. I gave that up for adventure and I'm grateful that I took this chance.
So, now I am trying to apply this to my personal life. Lately, ok in the past few years, I have really been feeling as if its time to settle down, find someone to make a life with. But to do that, I have to actually go out and date people. Meet people. See what kind of guys I'm compatible with. Ok, yes, I've dated some in the past and learned that I can't date a guy who's parents were alcoholics (and hasn't yet gone to therapy about that issue) nor can I date a guy who is overly emotional and doesn't always think logically. Those things I've learned. But I've got to take more chances. Sample the goods as they say.
So, I did that on this trip! When I was with Brian in Belgrade, Serbia on our trip through the former Yugoslavia. I turned on Grindr (and I had quite the time with the guys there, sorry Mom!) and for some reason checked messages on the Chinese version of Grindr. Lo and behold I started chatting with a Serbian guy who turns out to live in Beijing, but was back in Belgrade to finish his masters in Chinese. Milan T. speaks Chinese better than me, certainly writes and reads Chinese better than me, and is a Serbian. I didn't have a chance to meet up with him before Brian and I left Belgrade, but for the next three weeks, he and I kept up a torrid texting conversation. There were possible sparks there. And because I had a few free days after Viterbo before heading to Germany to see Uli and his family......I flew back to Serbia to meet Milan. Talk about taking a chance!
We met up and he's a great guy, but no sparks. But in meeting with him in person, I learned so much about how where we grow up affects our outlook on life. As an American with my blue passport, I can see the world pretty much at will. I have advantages that I've never even thought about. Milan, being a Serbian, has some pretty tough visa restrictions to travel to most countries. To do what he wants to do outside of Serbia takes so much more effort and documentation than I could EVER imagine. And to that effect, he sees the world as the small bubble of Serbia and the ex-Yugoslavia. It colors his attitude and there is an edge of defeatism in his view of the world.
Even though, the trip to Belgrade the second time didn't advance my relationship with Milan beyond friendship, I want to say that I'm glad I took the chance of heading back to Belgrade to see him, and meet him in person. You don't want to say to yourself, "what might have been...." Well, I know. And that's satisfying.
However, let me tell you......I'm a HOT commodity in Belgrade, Serbia. No need to put details here. Let's just say, BOTH times I was in Belgrade I was not without male companionship!
So, now I am trying to apply this to my personal life. Lately, ok in the past few years, I have really been feeling as if its time to settle down, find someone to make a life with. But to do that, I have to actually go out and date people. Meet people. See what kind of guys I'm compatible with. Ok, yes, I've dated some in the past and learned that I can't date a guy who's parents were alcoholics (and hasn't yet gone to therapy about that issue) nor can I date a guy who is overly emotional and doesn't always think logically. Those things I've learned. But I've got to take more chances. Sample the goods as they say.
So, I did that on this trip! When I was with Brian in Belgrade, Serbia on our trip through the former Yugoslavia. I turned on Grindr (and I had quite the time with the guys there, sorry Mom!) and for some reason checked messages on the Chinese version of Grindr. Lo and behold I started chatting with a Serbian guy who turns out to live in Beijing, but was back in Belgrade to finish his masters in Chinese. Milan T. speaks Chinese better than me, certainly writes and reads Chinese better than me, and is a Serbian. I didn't have a chance to meet up with him before Brian and I left Belgrade, but for the next three weeks, he and I kept up a torrid texting conversation. There were possible sparks there. And because I had a few free days after Viterbo before heading to Germany to see Uli and his family......I flew back to Serbia to meet Milan. Talk about taking a chance!
We met up and he's a great guy, but no sparks. But in meeting with him in person, I learned so much about how where we grow up affects our outlook on life. As an American with my blue passport, I can see the world pretty much at will. I have advantages that I've never even thought about. Milan, being a Serbian, has some pretty tough visa restrictions to travel to most countries. To do what he wants to do outside of Serbia takes so much more effort and documentation than I could EVER imagine. And to that effect, he sees the world as the small bubble of Serbia and the ex-Yugoslavia. It colors his attitude and there is an edge of defeatism in his view of the world.
Even though, the trip to Belgrade the second time didn't advance my relationship with Milan beyond friendship, I want to say that I'm glad I took the chance of heading back to Belgrade to see him, and meet him in person. You don't want to say to yourself, "what might have been...." Well, I know. And that's satisfying.
However, let me tell you......I'm a HOT commodity in Belgrade, Serbia. No need to put details here. Let's just say, BOTH times I was in Belgrade I was not without male companionship!
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