An appreciation for this thing called life

Over the past year, I have found myself driving home listening to NPR (of course what else could it be?) and it seems that more often than not I am driving across the Bay Bridge when the end of Newshour rolls around and the anchors (Shields and Gigot) sign off with a silent tribute to those soldiers who have lost their lives in Iraq or Afghanistan. Whenever I hear that music they play as they are showing pictures of the fallen I have tears rolling down my face. I can't pinpoint exactly why it is that this happens, but I can partially attribute it to a delayed reaction to my accident three and a half years ago. At the time, I was just living through each moment and day working so hard on getting better and not wallowing in self-pity that I probably never really seriously took a step back and realized that I could have died. As I turned 36 this year I understand how precious each and every day on this earth really is. And to be thankful for the fact that things are worse, or that someone I love has passed away or to simply be happy that I have things that make me comfortable and loved. I feel down inside the tragedy that is the end of each and every life that isn't from natural causes. That person who died will never feel happiness nor joy again. I get it now. I really do. I wish that meant that I wouldn't be so unappreciative of my Mom, but you know, those habits are hard ones to break. By the way, hi Mom. But do know that I'm much better than I used to be. And there are sometimes that I'm outright nice!! So on this day that is the 8th of March, I truly know deep down inside the gift that is life.