What a soon to be talking child sounds like on email

Longtime readers will certainly remember the brouhaha that I caused around the holidays last year when I had my flip out over my friends' small children. In my list of rant items, I definitively stated that I found it quite annoying and not in the least charming when my friend put their "not yet talking but definately making noises" toddler on the phone to "say hello."

So yesterday I got an email from my dear friend Catherine V-S and she got me with the following:

"L would like to type--is this that awful equivalent of putting the kid on the phone--he's asking for a turn though--so here he is.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjddddddddddddssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
j555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll


lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll;vvvvvvbbbbbbvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvhkhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh;;.k;//////////"


All I can do is laugh and admit that I'm never going to win this one.

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Music Festival

The frequency of my postings to the blog this fall has been low and that has mostly to do the return to the daily/weekly rhythm of being back in school. Add to that the fact that I am doing the same things, for instance planning the school fair, that I've written about in years past, hasn't given me much to write or expound on. Keeping this blog has given me pause to realize that I need to shake up life a bit and do things that expose me to new things or learn about new things. That's why there is the flurry of woodworking home improvement projects. Yesterday, I decided that since I've always loved Bluegrass music (not exactly something you would expect from an Asian-American guy who grew up in the Pacific Northwest) and brave the enormous crowds to attend the free of cost The Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival held on the Speedway Meadow of Golden Gate Park here in San Francisco. The reason why it is free of cost to all of us who attended is well documented in this story on NPR. The weather for the three day event was perfect (remember that the best months of weather in San Francisco are September and October) and attendance this year was estimated at 350,000. My friend Jason L. and I heeded the suggestion of taking public transportation and arrived around 3PM Sunday afternoon. There were five different stages, each with a separate lineup of performers. Jason and I found a nice spot on top of the Southern ridge that rises above Speedway Meadow. The headline act of the festival (and from what I gather each of the previous five festivals) was Emmylou Harris. Thanks to Jason and the two sisters who sat behind us for giving me the reasons why having Emmylou's presence at the festival was so significant. During the three and a half hours at the festival, we heard two other bluegrass bands in addition to Harris.

It's ironic that for a self-proclaimed "music really doesn't interest or resonate with me" person that I've gone to two concerts in the past two weeks. I'll attribute it to the "growth" I'm working on and expanding the things about which I can blog.

Saving a piece of my childhood

Turtleback Mountain, Orcas Island, WA (Photo Credit Seattle Times)

Many great childhood memories I have took place on Orcas Island, a group of idyllic islands in the Northwestern corner or Washington State (and for that matter the Lower 48 of United States). First off, the humorous part would have to be the picture of a bunch of Asian-American families travelling en masse to a beachfront chunk of land on Deer Point of Orcas Island. My family as well as the group of families that formed to social community in which I grew up would go up camping at least three times every summer. The amenities were few, a rundown trailer, an outhouse and a spigot with running water. The rest of the seven acres, which was owned by my parents and two other families, was overrun with nature. But the fact that we owned half of the beach of a small cove was amazing, and only as an adult do I truly understand how special it was. I say was because the land was sold by the three families in the mid-90's to someone who contacted my parents and their fellow co-owners and offered up an ungodly amount of money to buy it and so my parents and et. al. sold it. This was a tragedy most devastating to the six children of the owners. We six still mourn the loss.

Our families would set up tents and we children would play on the beach, dig up crabs, skip rocks, attempt every summer to climb just a bit further out towards the tip of the cove and watch the fog roll in and out to reveal or hide the "disappearing islands" offshore. We would all go to Moran State Park and get driven to the top of Mount Constitution and then hike (or in many cases run) down the mountain to Cascade Lake where our parents were waiting for us. Our parents would play set up folding tables to play Mah-Jongg (picture my mother and her friends playing Mah-Jongg amidst the towering trees of Orcas Island) into the night time hours. We would BBQ traditional camping food but it was always served with traditional Chinese dishes that our Mom's could pack up in a cooler. And somehow, I remember us always having fireworks. Certainly we were up there on 4th of July and that made sense for fireworks, but we were always setting off fireworks, so we must have brought them every single visit.

As you can tell, I speak of these childhood camping trips to Orcas Island with great fondness. The memories are even more treasured now that the land is no longer in the hands our either my parents or their friends. That's why this story about saving Turtleback Mountain from development struck a chord with me. The Seattle based Medina Foundation has put up the large swath of undeveloped land, currently privately held, up for sale. But in an act of generosity, conservation groups have been given the opportunity to but it first before developers. At $18.5 million dollars, the land could be preserved undeveloped and opened to the public for hiking and general enjoyment. Please consider a donation to the San Juan Preservation Trust. At the site, you can specifically designate your funds toward saving Turtleback Mountain. With a gift of $150 or more, you will receive a Gary Larson (of the Far Side) designed T-Shirt that references saving Turtleback Mountain. I've got my T-Shirt coming.

My most enthusiastic participant wins

The latest word I ask those who leave voicemail messages for me is SYNTHESIZE. For some reason, mostly coincidental, the first person to call me and get my outgoing message with the new word is Joe H. of Greenbrae, CA. He's always in the running for the victory, but as I look back at the winners, he has yet to win, but does have a number of honorable mentions. Well, this week, there was no doubt, he cleverly used the word and trounced all other participants. Here's his message...

I wanted to let you know that my plants are doing wonderfully. The light has been just right this year so the photosynthesis has caused my plants to really bud out" -- Joe H.

Alas, I must report that I am terminating the game as the participation rate has dropped precipitously since its inception in August. So, unless, I hear a groundswell of disappointment over the ending of the game, it is what it is. Thanks to all of you who left me a message with the word of the week whenever it was. I enjoyed your efforts.

Well guess who showed up?

These past few weeks, I have been the beneficiary of my friend Hans' wife's illness. Because she hasn't been feeling well, I've been to a SF Fringe Festival play and last night, to the Tom Petty concert at UC-Berkeley's Greek Theater I have been in and around the Berkeley campus and must have driven right by the Greek many times, but I had no idea that it was this beautiful amphitheater in this grove of trees that I've always wondered why it hadn't been cleared for some building. Now I know why.

Oh, and what about the concert itself? Can I go on about how nice it is to be able to sit outside on a Saturday evening as the sun is going down in the Greek and watching the sunset over the Bay through the trees? It's life in California at its best. Petty was entertaining and I actually recognized about half of the songs he performed, but alas, he didn't do Wildflowers, which is a favorite of mine. Oh, and about half way through, Stevie Nicks showed up and performed along side Petty for a couple songs and for the encore. Definately very cool, and unexpected.

I actually know someone who is running for Congress

I am a political junkie and so I think it's totally cool that I actually know a person who is actually a major party candidate for the United States House of Representatives. Granted, it's a tenuous connection, but it is a connection.

If you happen to be reading this and are a consitutent of Michigan's 6th Congressional District, which encompasses the Southwestern corner of the state, I urge you to check out the candidacy of Democrat Kim Clark. His opponent is Republican Congressman Fred Upton, first elected in 1986, and is a the grandson of the one of the founders of Whirlpool. Congressmen Upton, according to the analysis of his voting record, is a moderate Republican.

You are probably wondering how do I know the candidate? A couple summers back, on my two month roadtrip across the country, I spent three weeks in Chicago and became friends with Kim's partner, Dave F. and that is the connection. According to every prognosticator and election guru, Kim's chances or victory are slim to none. But I applaud him for taking the risk and partcipating in the political system we enjoy.

On a totally random note, the 6th District of Michigan was once represented by a congressman named David Stockman. This is the David Stockman who became Ronald Reagan's Director of the Office of Management and Budget (OMB) and the one who spearheaded the ideas of Supply-Side Economics, which lead to the huge budget deficits of the 1980's. A little history with our posting today, eh?

The bridesmaid becomes the bride

Congratulations to Tim A. or Princeton, NJ for winning the most recent message contest. You all will remember how Tim was runner-up the at the end of first round and his honorable mention. This time, Tim outclassed the field by using the word STAMPEDE in gerund form and in a context that was seamless. The winning message.....

"Hello there, I was calling to return your message and even though you aren't answering I hope there aren't children STAMPEDING all around you." -Tim A.

A surprise phone call and an even better message

The word of the week was DETERIORATE. Before I reveal the winner and their message, I have noticed a dropoff in participation rate of those who have called and left messages when I first began the contest. Those who are experiencing the challenge for the first time are nearly always game to try and leave great messages, or the attempts are hilarious themselves. So a charge to those who have tapered in their enthusiasm to forge on and continue. It's a little brain stretching and improvising that provides much happiness and humor in my day.

Our winner is Emily D. formerly of Berkeley, Santa Barbara and now Boulder, CO. She was in my advising group during my first three years at HRS and, like many of the class of 2001, has managed to keep in contact and move from student to peer. Here is the winning message:

"Hey Chen, I'm calling to chat, as I have appointed you my lifetime advisor. I was wondering if you had any pearls of wisdom on hot to help me manage my money after college before I deteriorate my funds." -- Emily D. (Sept. 2006)

A note on how long a word stays as "the word". When I listen to the messages there are times when I hear one and it simply strikes me as "the one" and at that point, I'll change to a new word. Usually, it takes about a week for "the one" to reveal itself, but for deteriorate, it was about two weeks. I think I have a winner on the first day with the newest word. You'll find out soon enough.

A bigger project

After the success of the flowerboxes from this summer, I decided that it was time to tackle the bookcases that I had been thinking about building in the front room, which I now use as both my office and what, in the olden days, was called a drawing room. For those of you who have been to my home, you'll remember that there was a decorative non-working fireplace against one of the walls. At first I was going to take the fireplace out, but then decided to build AROUND the fireplace. I thought it would breakup the monotony of a wall of shelves. Here's the result:

Like I said last year when I installed the french doors, moulding and trim hide all mistakes and "non-traditional" methods. I'll now add a fresh coat of paint to that list.

Survivor: Cook Islands

Ok, so I have to admit that I think the current Survivor set up is certainly a ratings ploy (there are four tribes that are separated into racial groups), but a part of me is totally rooting for the Asian-Americans to kick butt, especially in the physical challenges. You know if one of the challenges was something academic, there would be no questions who the money would be on. And what happened the first week? The Asian-American tribe (Puka Puka) won the immunity challenge. If you want to be totally entertained, read this this article, The Tribe Has Spoken that was in the San Francisco Chronicle. It had me howling, while bringing up some interesting points of view.

I am going to be a NERT

No, No, not NERD (I already am one of those) but I have started the training to be on my Neighborhood Emergency Response Team. The program grew out of the chaos in the Marina District here in San Francisco after the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake struck. There were so many people willing to help and the SF Fire Department recognized that. Out of that tragedy the SF NERT was launched. This program to train residents to know what to do to take care of themselves and their families and subsequently go out into their local areas and aid others. Over the course of six three hour sessions, we will learn:

•How to prepare before it happens
•What to do when the earth starts to shake
•Basic Disaster Skills
•Natural gas, water and electrical controls, why, when and how to shut them off
•Types of fire, and using extinguishers to put it out
•Hazardous Materials awareness in the home, on the road, and all around you
•Disaster Medicine
•Health considerations for the rescuer
•Opening airways
•Stopping bleeding and shock position
•S.T.A.R.T. triage
•Minor injuries and burns
•Light Search and Rescue
•Different types of construction and where to look for damage
•How to classify damaged buildings
•Building marking system
•Interior search patterns
•Lifting heavy objects and mechanical advantage
•Victim carries
•Team Organization and Management
•City Disaster Plan and where the NERTs fit
•NERT Incident Command System, managing the disaster
•Disaster Psychology
•Terrorism and NERT
•Extinguishing fires
•Triaging and treating moulaged victims
•Extricating a victim trapped by heavy timbers
•Interior search for reported missing persons
•Exterior building damage assessment

Wow, that's a ton. But the coolest thing is that upon completing the course, I will receive my own yellow hardhat that identifies me as a NERT. I'm a NERT.

You never know what you're going to get

The word of the week was PANACHE, which seemed to fluster more than a few callers. Most of the messages used the word to describe something (or me) as having flair/verve/elan. However, once again Joe H. of Greenbrae, CA gets special mention for using PANACHE as describing a hat with ornamental feathers or a plume.

But the winner this week is John H. or San Francisco who informed me that Panache Choclatier was his chocolate store of choice when he lived in Kansas City, MO. And we have a winner.....

The new word has been recorded on my outgoing message and is ready to go. Have fun!

They must have done their research

The first day of school in August is one of total logistics. It's a bit easier for advisors who don't advise freshman because all of our students already know the ropes and our role is simply to collect forms, distribute forms and make sure we ourselves get our picture taken. It was this last task that threw me off today because instead of sitting on a box and looking at the camera, the photo company now has each and every person KNEELING and then having their hands gripping metal bars at chest height. Yeah, that's what I thought too. I think the shock of this new method for posing just might cause our photos to be even worse than normal. But, as I said, the company must have done tests and research and found that kneeling is the way to go.

A new skill for my resume

PICKLING

Our first winner

Those of you who call me have, for the past six months, heard a very somber sounding outgoing message from me. Last week, my friend Carlos P. said that enough was enough and that it must be changed. Therefore, I have recorded a new outgoing message that has a much more chipper sounding me, but I've also added a bit of a twist. I've instituted, for those who choose to participate, a little contest in which the caller must leave a message and use a word of my choosing. Our word this first week was TURBULENT.

I must applaud my friends and those who called me as 75% went along and successfully used the word correctly in the message. My Mom, however, when she heard the new outgoing message, thought she had dialed the wrong number.

I hope to be disciplined about posting a transcript of the winning message here on the blog. This weeks winner is David C. of Casselberry, FL.

"Oh the turbulent and tumultuous times we live in. My kitty was at the vet getting a bath this morning. She had such a turbulent experience that the vet said please don't bring her back as we will not bathe her"

I must however, include the message left by Tim A. of Princeton, NJ who didn't use turbulent, but went his own way to leave this witty message.

"The state flower of Indiana is the peony. The state bird is the cardinal. And the state..........what would you call Ernie......you're a bit like a stalker. So the Indiana state stalker is Ernie"

Honorable mention must go to Joe H. or Greenbrae, CA for using the adjective and noun form of the work turbulent. One must also go to Carlos P. of Santa Cruz, CA for using the word morose in conjunction with turbulent.

On a whim

While in New York, I got the rare opportunity to chat with my friend Jeff O. He's one of those great friends who I can not see or talk to for two years and when we get together, we pick up where we left off seamlessly. Jeff has spent this past year in San Juan, PR, having the honor of clerking for the Puerto Rico based judge on the United States Court of Appeals - 1st Circuit.

He had invited me (as well as many other friends) to visit him there. Many had, but I had yet to make it there. I learned that the upcoming weekend, August 12th and 13th, was his last weekend in Puerto Rico. I took the bull by the horns, as the saying goes, and extended my trip by five days. Instead of returning to the Bay Area on the 9th as scheduled, I instead flew to San Juan. I landed on the afternoon of the 9th and spent the evening walking around Old San Juan.

A particularly beautiful street in Old San Juan

Jeff's apartment was the top floor of the blue building. It was on Calle de la Cruz in Old San Juan.

I spent Thursday out Ocean Beach and Condado. It was windy and it rained intermittently, but I had a wonderful time walking on the beach and walking back into Old San Juan. Swimming in the ocean was fantastic. That evening, Jeff's former downstairs neighbor, Jeff and I went to an woman's art show and then out for dinner and some open mic music.

On Friday, Jeff had to do some business at the Puerto Rico DMV, called CESCO. I accompanied him just because I sensed that some huge frustrating fiasco might happen and being that Puerto Rico is not an efficient nor customer service oriented culture, I might be witness to some hilarity. Unforunately, everything went smoothly, but I paid for my desire for chaos when later on that afternoon, I got on the bus which ended up going the wrong way and I spent almost two hours on that bus before I returned back to Old San Juan.

On Saturday, Jeff and I rented a car and drove along the "Ruta Panoramica", which traverses the mountainous East/West spine of the island of Puerto Rico. At the end of the day, we strategically ended up near the Western Coast because we were on a quest to find Mangosteens, which are said to be the one of the most delicious things to eat in the world. Alas, we failed. That night, we spent swam in the pool, played ping pong and ate dinner all at The Hacienda Juanita

The view of the Mountains of Puerto Rico from the Ruta Panoramica

Sunday was spent in search of a waterfall, which due to my inability to walk on large slippery boulders, we didn't reach. But we then drove to Shack's Beach where we met up with some of Jeff's friends and spent the afternoon laying on the beach and snorkeling.

This picture doesn't do Shack's Beach justice

I left Old San Juan on Monday, but here are some final pictures.

A view of the "Del Morro", the centuries old fort that guards the entrance to the harbor of San Juan.

A turret along the city wall, which encloses Old San Juan.

Shaved Ice, a Puerto Rican specialty. The flavor here is Guanabana, which I have no idea what that is but I like the flavor.

The area that leads up to the "Del Morro".

What a treat to get to visit Jeff and to enjoy Puerto Rico. But I have to say, the amount of trash that lies on the street and sides of the road is truly shameful. But, in the end, it truly is the Caribbean at its best.

I Heart New York

For a Westerner like me, New York City has been a "scary" place. It's the big city, and back in the 1970's, it was, in my mind, a dirty crime-ridden city. When applying to colleges, I essentially put a big X through the New York Metropolitan Area. While living in Ithaca, my first significant visit to "the City" was with friends as we travelled and stayed with my New York City native friend Nora B. I was so petrified that I memorized her home phone number, which I still can recite to this day.

Over the course of these many years, I would visit New York City many times, but never for more than a couple days and always running around trying to meet up with the friends who were putting me up or when I was at Lawrenceville, making sure I didn't miss the last train back to New Jersey.

I would hear everyone around me rave about New York and there is that rabid core who could never imagine living anywhere else. But, I never really got it. I enjoyed visiting New York, but it wasn't yet in my soul.

Well, things changed during this last visit. I spent four full days in New York, staying two nights at my friend Jennifer C. studio in Murray Hill and then two nights with Peter S. who lives in Brooklyn Heights. Having only to move once changed my entire visit. I arrived on Saturday August 5th in the early evening after a long Greyhound ride from Ithaca. That night, I saw "The Producers". It was great, although I spent a great deal of time thinking about how great it would have been to see Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane doing the two lead roles.

Sunday morning, I awoke and stepped out in search of Bagels, which I found a mere block and a half from where I was staying. I spent the morning reading the Sunday New York Times in New York City. This leisurely morning was the first I had ever spent in New York. I walked to visit my friends Gayle A and Rob M for lunch and then we all strolled over to Columbus Circle where I bid farewell to them and spent the afternoon in Central Park. That evening, I took the subway to Queens to have family dinner with Jennifer C.'s family.

Monday the 7th had me arise and pop on over to take a tour of the United Nations. After that I packed myself up and moved myself to Brooklyn Heights to meet Peter. He gave me a tour of Park Slope, after which we ate lunch and walked through Prospect Park. In the late afternoon, we walked around the waterfront of the Red Hook neighborhood. I have to give credit to New York for having invested a great deal of money developing and maintaining great parks and green spaces.

Tuesday the 8th was my last day and I started out with a walk along the Brooklyn Promenade and then did a bit of shopping on Broadway in SOHO. Peter met me for lunch at Katz's Deli. This Deli is where they filmed the famous "I'll have what she's having scene" from the movie, "When Harry Met Sally". Afterwards, Peter and I took a tour of the Lower East Side Tenement Museum. I then took a bus down to the South Street Seaport to meet Ian M. to take in The Bodies Exhibition. I then took the subway back to Park Slope to meet up with Peter, Simeon S. and Mary Bentley H. (a shout out to all three for putting up with my surly behavior) at The Applewood Restaurant which was holding a fundraiser for an Upstate New York farm that was devastated by the floods in July.

As you can see, I packed in quite a lot in my four days, but it felt leisurely. I guess what I came to understand and really love about New York City, is that everything is at your fingertips, seemingly 24 hours a day, and usually you are getting the best in the nation, if not world, of what you desire. But mostly, what I came to find fascinating and amazing is the juxtaposition of two things that are completely unrelated. The Tenement Museum is located at 97 Orchard St and right next door, at 95 Orchard St., is the Il Laboratorio De Gelato. How cool is that?

My Nickname was "-2"

The original crux of this East Coast trip was to attend the Cornell Adult University (CAU). I was interested, and partcipated in, a weeklong seminar on the history of the US Senate. Even though my undergraduate major was Geological Sciences (and Economics but the department handed me a degree with me really knowing essentially nothing) I've recently have wondered if I got the wrong major starting with the letter G. If I were to go back to college now, I would more than likely major in Government. The added bonus was that the course was taught by two highly regarded professors who's names were always mentioned in reverent tones. The two professors claimed that teaching in the CAU was a highly sought after gig and one of them boasted that he had started teaching CAU courses in 1968 at which I promptly, and smugly blurt out, "I was -2" and thus I was called by that name.

We had lectures on:
1) The Historical Constructs of the US Senate
2) The Great Compromise of 1850
3) The Impeachment of Andrew Johnson
4) Woodrow Wilson and the Treaty of Versailles
5) Joseph McCarthy
6) The Civil Rights Bill of 1957
7) The Filibuster
8) Watched the movie "Advise and Consent"
9) The confirmation of Clarence Thomas
10) The Impeachment of Bill Clinton

We always had two hour long lectures in the morning followed by an afternoon discussion of the mornings lectures and the current political scene. I found it a totally different educational experience to actually be interested in class enough to listen and not need to take notes because I was absorbing what I was hearing out of sheer intellectual interest.

Outside of class, it was wonderful to be back in Ithaca. If I knew how well alumni were treated, I would have been more active alumni activities earlier!! During the week, I went swimming in one of the famous gorges that border the Cornell campus, ate at the Moosewood restaurant, visited for an afternoon and evening with friends Michelle P and Mike B and their very happy son, Raymond and played a round of golf at the Cornell golf course.

However, on the day before I left, I was in the dining hall grabbing a piece of French Bread before I headed out and I ran into a student that I taught at HRS and was working as an RA this summer. Sam W is in between her sophomore and junior years at Cornell and we spent Friday evening walking around campus and had dinner.

Sam W and I after dinner. I must note that the man who took the picture asked if we were a couple. I don't look that young, people.

In front of the building I lived in my junior year. Nothing has changed.

This last photo needs some explanation. In college, friends of mine would reserve the Lynah Ice Rink for an hour every once in a while, usually at 1AM, and we would get together and play hockey. Well, I tried playing hockey. It was just a blast to get out there on the ice. We took this picture (my friend Jeff O and I have no clue what Omega Beta Kappa was supposed to stand for), framed it and nailed it to the wall of the Chapter House Bar on Stewart Street right off campus. We did this in 1992 and the picture is still on the wall, as seen below.

It's pretty easy to see how young I looked. Jeff is kneeling and is located second from the right in his row.

Who says you can't go "home" again??

A Former Life

For those of you who have always wondered what my life was back in New Jersey when I taught at a boarding school, well, here you are. The first part of my journey took me back to the place where I felt as though I came of age as an adult. My three years there were truly a baptism by fire, but I am the better because of it. I thoroughly loved my three years at Lawrenceville and remember it in my heart with great fondness. Here's what it looks like:

The Chapel which lies around the circular lawn. The grounds were laid out by the famed Fredrick Olmstead; the same man who designed the grounds of Central Park in New York City

The Bunn Library

The Corby Mathematics and Computing Center on right(Yes, it does look like Pizza Hut) and the Science Building on left.

The track and football field

The rear of the Science Center (air is completely recirculated every three to five minutes) and the bleachers to the field. As punishment for their senior class prank in 1998, the seniors had to move every brick from the far end of the field to the base of the bleachers. A comical sight at 8AM the Sunday morning before graduation.

Upper House where I lived with 65 senior boys for two years.

The Haskell House where I spent my third and final year living with 14 (to start by 12 by the end) senior boys.

Where Am I?

Essentially, we can call this two week trip of mine, a journey down memory lane. But it's also serving as a cleansing of the soul as well. More on that later. Flying from Oakland to Newark (via Orange County of all places) I spent the first couple days of this trip at my old stomping grounds of Lawrenceville. I puttered around with Jim J., spent an evening in Philadelphia, and took a nice long walk around campus, where I was filled with emotions of great pride in having spent three years here. It's hard to put into words what I was experiencing, but it must be that same thing that my parents feel when we go and visit some place of significance in their lives, that for me mean nothing, but it brings up something for them. I can now respect that when it occurs for them or anyone else.

A great evening of bonding, eating with Ian M. and a potential celebrity sighting of the star of the moving "Edge of Seventeen", Chris Stafford. But I'd say it's more than 50/50 but I didn't confirm by actually asking the guy who looked like the movie actor, who was sitting a mere two feet from us. By the way, high praise for the movie "Little Miss Sunshine".

Where am I now? In Ithaca, NY for the week. Again, it's another significant place in my life. I'm having those same nostalgic feelings. But it's also here where I am finally ridding myself of my relationship with Scott. I'm sad because I can envision him here taking a Wines course while I sit through lectures and discussions on US Politics. But here I am, alone. It's good to be here alone, although somewhat sad as well. But most important, I think, is that I am sitting with the feelings and letting them work through me and let them run their course. It's not easy to admit to oneself that I'm sad and that there are parts of my life I wish were different and parts of my personality that I could change but that will take immense effort and perseverance, but I guess the journey begins now. The sign? Last night, I deleted Scott's entry in my cellphone.

Onward!