Acting

So, this acting thing is much harder than it looks. The students auditioned for parts in late January and began rehearsals in earnest at the beginning of February. I was given a copy of my lines said by my character, the bigoted Baptist Minister, during the second week of February. Not having actually seen the movie nor having attended rehearsals, I was trying to memorize my without having any context for the words.

I was really having a difficult time memorizing the lines for the two scenes in which the character is featured. 157 words in three different speaking moments in the first scene and 225 words in the second scene. When I, and the other four faculty members who were in the play, began attending and participating in rehearsals, I was still working off my script, whereas the other faculty members had learned their lines and the students had done so too.

Therefore, starting the Monday two weeks before the shows opening, my scene partner in the second scene is allowed to come up to me at anytime she sees me, give me one of her lines and I have to say my subsequent line. If I am unable to do so I owe her $5. I instituted this draconian measure because I needed an incentive to get myself over the hump to learn my lines. That week, Patricia L. earned herself $30. More frighteningly, and importantly, I would get this stare from her, a stare of disappointment, that I hadn't learned my lines yet. At this point, I just thought this stare was one of "scolding" and disappointment that I hadn't done the most fundamental job of acting. On more than one occasion, she would take my money and say with ever more firmness, "Mr. Chen, you need to learn your lines!" It's amazing how easily a high school senior girl can take on the role of the authority figure and use it to make the one having some words being spoken to them, feel so guilty.

Starting the Sunday before opening night, we began running run through rehearsals. I was still just making it through my lines, kind of stumbling through them. Luckily for me, the character speaks in a halting, stilted and self-editing kind of way, which made it easier to hide my momentary searches of my memory for the next line I was to speak. Around me, I saw the other actors saying their lines with flow and inflections. In retrospect, being the beginning actor that I am, I was at the point they all were a month earlier. I began to see that my just "dropping in" at the end, and just doing the minimum amount of rehearsal (very rock star behavior and treatment) was ok for the other four faculty, all of whom had theater experience. But for me, I was trying to cram so much learning, practicing and mastery into too short a time.

As the show began to take its final form, I realized the meaning behind Patricia's stare when I didn't know my line. I saw how important the quality of this play was to them, and that they really took their efforts and performances seriously. My not taking the time and effort to learn my lines was in a way not pulling my weight. It must have seemed that I was just "blowing it off" and that the play wasn't an important event in my life. The power of the story and the seriousness that these students brought to it changed my mind immediately.

The show played four nights. Each night the audience increased in size. The first two nights, went ok for me. I got through my early lines without much difficulty. I made an error the second night in the middle of my sermon, however the lines of the first scene didn't cause me much difficulty. I stood in one space and I spoke to the audience, I didn't have to interact with another character.

The second scene is the one in which I had to enter onto the stage, stop, begin a conversation with Patricia's character, amble in front of her and then react to something she says. Then after a quick interchange, I have three long (not long to the other actors but long to me) multi-sentence lines. Then I turn around and exit opposite where I entered. Oh, I have to make sure that I stand in the light too. Those of you who know me, can already see the brain meltdown I had at having to keep track of so many things to do within a two minutes scene. This second scene went off without a hitch both the first two nights, but each night, Patricia would point out to me places in my delivery where I emphasized the wrong word and the overall effect wasn't as powerful as I could/should have been.

On night three, during the middle of the first of three long lines, my mind went blank. I looked at Patricia and I saw the stare. I fumbled around for a couple seconds and then decided to stop and think, as much in character as possible. At this point, I see the stage manager stand up and start whatever she has to do in a situation where a cue needs to be given. I just start saying words, get through the second of the three long lines by stringing together words that if you listen closely, made absolutely NO sense. I got to the third line, nailed it and walked off stage. I felt horrible. I was pissed at myself. After the show, I asked Patricia to deliver my ass kicking the next day. She agreed.

The day of the closing performance, Patricia made me say my lines to her at least four times. I was still having some difficulty but was getting through them. She said that I shouldn't just be working on getting through them on the night of the final show, that's what I should have been doing weeks prior. I am proud to say that the second scene of the final night of the performance was as good as I could do it. I was comfortable enough with the words to even work on providing emphasis in the right places and even a little finger wagging. After the performance, Patricia gave me a high five and told me, "that was acting!"

So, nailing that last scene was more than anything else, proving to myself that I could do it. But the overall experience was chock full of learning about the world of theater and that it is much harder to do well, than meets the eye. I have a newfound respect for these student actors and the amount of work and emotional investment they put into these shows. But the best thing that happened was that I was in the role of "student." The students were giving me help on what to do, they were the ones giving me a pat on the back when i did something right or advice when I didn't as well as I should have.

Would I do it again? For sure. But I would approach it with much more seriousness and respect for the craft of acting and the world of theater.